Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Candy Is Not Dandy!

Satan is borne of man and his name is candy.

He goes by other names. Primarily chocolate, but also candy corn, life savers, hot tamales, skittles, snickers, jujubees, jelly beans, peeps, pez, m&m's, cookies, soda pop, fried food, sugar, white flour and anything else that tastes good.

What's in a name? Well, lies, that's what! There are no beans in jelly beans! There is no corn in candy corn! Life Savers will not save your life, they won't even extend it. They'll only rot your teeth!  Fried Food, pfft! Lies! It stops being food once you plunge it to its death in the fry basket...

A while back, I met up with Dana. I hadn't seen him for a time and I noticed some of him was missing. He told me he was off anything that actually tasted good because he found out he was diabetic. He said he felt great, but he was starving. I was ashamed and I did not admit to him, that I am diabetic too. I didn't say anything or compare notes because I had done absolutely nothing in an effort to get healthier by changing my diet. I'm positive that when I ran into Dana, I had just finished jamming a bunch of crap down my gullet. And since then, I have not stopped.

I feel like crap. I'm tired all the time. I forget to take my pills. Manda is on my case about the gym and water aerobics. Still I sat in Tam's living room on Sunday night, in front of the fire, eating candy and drinking soda pop.

The devil has taken up residence in my life in the form of candy, soda and just plain bad food choices. And it's killing me. KILL. ING. ME.

So, in an effort to save my life, please don't give me any more candy. Or fried food. Or soda. Or anything that is appealing in any way. I can get those things all on my own. The worst part of it, is it's all legal. I'm not even harming myself with illicit street drugs.

I ate an orange and a tiny english muffin this morning for breakfast. Lunch? Not sure yet. But it cannot be candy or cookies of any kind.

Wish me life.


  1. Okay, I am mailing you some celery. Bon appetit!

  2. could it be carrots please? the celery strings stick in my teeth...

  3. Sorry, but I'm a chocoholic.
    Myself I like salads for something different....


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