Wednesday, October 21, 2015

100 happy days...

100 happy days...

the idea is to find something, everyday, that makes you happy and take a picture of it.

sure. i can do that. but it wouldn't be genuine.
there are too many things involved in my happiness, too many factors, the most important being people.

other people are very much a part of what makes me happy, content and grateful. the people closest to me may be miles away. i may not see them for months and months or maybe years. they may be only inches away from me.  they may annoy me or help me or hurt my feelings. chances are, i've done the same, or worse, to them.

i'm generally content. i'm generally thankful and grateful for the blessings bestowed upon me. i can't take a picture of that. sometimes life gets too much for me and i retreat, into a book, a tv show, a fantasy land of some sort, until i regroup and get back at it.

very often, i say "i hate people."
sometimes, "i want to go home now."
also, "go away."
when i say those things, i mean them. but not in the way you might think.
that's me giving voice to my struggle at the moment, my feelings of wanting to give up, chuck it all and crawl in a hole.

i never get to the point where i do crawl in a whole. ever. the people around me save me. every day. every minute. every second. whether they are known to me or not. even if i don't see them with my eyes. even if they are only a memory.

i'm not careful. i'm a terrible steward. i want. i lie.
but i am reminded that there is goodness and happiness in me. i see it in the people i encounter every day.

i am reflected in everyone i meet.everyone i come in contact with.everyone i know
this is humbling.

today, instead of trying to find something that makes me happy, i'll find or do something that makes someone else happy. 


  1. Nancy, this made me cry. So simple and honest, humbling & sweet~great work, probably not the comments you are looking for but your writing touched me and made me happy! Thanks for sharing

  2. lyn, then my work is done. but only for the moment...
    thanks for reading but more for commenting. i really need to know what people think when i put this stuff out there...

  3. Well... I agree with Lyn. I didn't cry... but I definitely understand.

  4. I agree with everyone who has replied here..... it did not make me cry and I do understand....

  5. Wonderfully put, Nancy. That's exactly what I was thinking when I put up my post for day 65 -- of the many people I love, and the many people who love me.

  6. Now THIS is the writing I miss from here. :)

    And I know I make you happy... because every day I take all the elastics off my outgoing mail... even on the days when you tell me you hate people.


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