Monday, May 10, 2010

Tales on Tuesday... Speed Racer

Nessa, of The Chrysalis Stage, hosts a weekly writing theme called Tales on Tuesday. Tell a short, short (500 words or less) story based on the weeks theme.Each theme will be the title of a TV show to provide some inspiration. Your story does not have to have anything to do with the TV show.

"I'm tellin' ya Skin, it's dead on balls accurate."

Jane held the bag in her left hand and the scale in her right. Skinny Pete doubted the accuracy of the scale and Jane's honesty. She looked like crap, dark circles under her eyes, scabby lesions on her face hands and arms. Her breath stunk. Her hands shook, she was painfully thin and dirty. Jane was deep in it. Pete wanted nothing more than to make his purchase and jet.

"This is the best you're gonna find Skin, and the cheapest. You cain't back out now."

Pete had agreed to be the go-between for the kids in his dorm and Jane, a girl he knew from high school. The dorm kids were looking to crank up to cram for finals. Jane was looking to sell some product to keep herself jammed up. Pete was looking to make some quick cash to pay-off a gambling debt. After that he planned to head for the hills.

"Skin, hurry up my nose is startin' to bleed. I gotta get outta here."

Jane was a quiet girl in high school. She kept to herself and walked to and from school alone. Pete met her in art class. They were studying the Dutch Golden Age. They both admired the Vermeer and struck up a conversation. After that, they sat together at lunch and he walked her halfway home. Jane never let Pete accompany her to her house. She said her Dad would freak if she brought a boy home. Jane came to school with bruises a few times and Pete took her word for it.

"Jane, you don't look so good. You should see a doctor. Let me take you to the hospital."

Pete was a popular boy from a well-to-do family. His parents were members of the country club and Pete's mother owned a successful real estate agency. Pete's father owned a construction company and was on the board of directors of the local bank. Pete found his parents to be shallow and elitist. Jane knew she would not be welcome at Pete's house.

"You can't help me Pete, I'm too far gone. I just need to get back. I'll be all right. You better get goin'."

Jane and Skinny Pete finalized their transaction and made preparations to leave. She stuffed all her paraphernalia in a bag and checked her nose. She went to the window and parted the curtain slightly, scanning the lot. He tossed a wad of cash on the bed and took the small plastic bag she’d left there. They moved to the door and she peeked through the peephole. He reached for the door knob. She paused, looked up at him and asked a question.

"Sometimes, don't ya just wish things were different? I mean, just for a little while?"

Pete nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. He turned the knob and the door swung open. Jane stepped through and took a last look at Pete. Standing in the doorway, he watched as she turned and hurried away. Pete stepped outside and closed the door.


  1. Wow. Sad what that crap does to ya. I never even thought to go this way. Very well done. :)

  2. Amazing story, Tilden. So sad because it is just too real.

  3. You really made the characters come to life! It made me hope you'll write more, but, as always, we have to come to our own conclusions! One of life's lesser aspects are the ones who don't finish the race at all. I am one that finished looking like I ran a marathon backwards, but I did get to finish! God's speed, I suppose....
    Great prose my friend!
    Caio. Mine is more sci fi and a little history/fiction style!
    Have a great week!
    I'm at the below link :)

  4. You are an excellent writer. :D But your story was sad and scary.


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